The Responsibility Project^®. Exploring what it means to do the right thing

The PJ Police: One School’s Rule for Parents

35 Comments

April 2, 2010 by Kathy McManus

Brett Singer at Parentdish.com blogged about a parents-in-pajamas crackdown in the U.K., where the head of a primary school issued a terse letter after about 50 parents routinely began appearing in pajamas each morning to drop off their kids. Describing the adults as “slovenly and rude,” the school head called the practice of wearing sleepwear in the daytime “disrespectful to the school and a bad example to set to children.”

Some Parentdish readers confessed to the same sartorial sin at home in the U.S. “I wear my PJs to drop off my son to school,” wrote one mother. “I am too busy helping him get ready to worry about myself.” Another wrote, “Almost all of the women at my kid’s school, including myself, wear PJs and slippers….I like to be comfortable.” Others came down squarely on the side of the British headmaster. “It is about teaching our kids respect, responsibility, and personal hygiene,” wrote one parent. Showing up in pajamas is “inappropriate,” another said, but “I don’t think it’s the school’s right to make it a rule.”

Tell us what you think: Should a school have a say in what parents can wear? Is it irresponsible for adults to wear pajamas in public?

35 Comments

What do you think? Leave a comment

• March 27, 2010 by Sandy DeWitt

  Recently a friend told me he had been invited to his child's classroom to read to the class (not sure how that furthers education, but not the subject here). The class teacher told him it was to be a "pajama day" and he should wear pajamas. I told him if he had showed up in my classroom when I was a child, he would have been arrested as a pervert. Why can't people keep their private lives private; do our children have to be exposed to other parents' sloppy displays? Somehow, I manage to get out of bed in time to shower, dress, brush my teeth, comb my hair, prepare breakfast and any lunches necessary and help others in the house get ready for the day. Stop acting like a bunch of pigs! If my child's teacher ever declares a "pajama" day, my children will not attend school that day. And heaven help the teacher who even thinks about handing out a "demerit for non-participation". I don't think we have to be "picture perfect" to go into public; however, why not wear clothing which is appropriate to the activity and environment?

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  • April 5, 2010 by Sally

    Ms. Dewitt - would you really remove your child from a day of school simply because it's pajama day? Don't you think that's a tad bit extreme? In my opinion it's kind of whiney, extremely inappropriate, and somewhat immature. You could just dress him in regular clothes. I don't know where you come from, but when I was in high school, we had Spirit Week and one of the days was pajama day...which was everyone's favorite Spirit Week day! I can only imagine you're very old and that's "not the way things were when you were young". Times have changed. I think calling people 'pigs' is unfair. If you aren't old, then you probably need to re-evaluate what you deem important in life. If someone wearing pajamas to bring their child to school or declaring a 'pajama day' in school is getting you angry, then I can't imagine how you feel about real issues.

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  • April 6, 2010 by Jumper

    You were once shoved head first through someone's vagina. Why are you acting so dignified?

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  • August 9, 2010 by Katrina

    dont stress about pj day and y pull your child out of school?? the next day he/she would go to school just to hear about how fun pajama day was! pj day is suposed to be fun for kids! they can just roll out of bed in the morning and go to school sorta like a break from morning cutastufies. chill!!

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    • August 28, 2010 by Sandy DeWitt

      No, it is more like taking a break from personal hygiene.

• March 28, 2010 by Hannita Nichols

  We as a society are not responsible for eachothers actions. We can only control our own ways. For someone to judge someone else for what they choose to leave their house in, is wrong. As long as a person isn't showing up nude, whats the problem. I think that it is a problem that night wear is associated with uncleanliness. Its odd that people never think that some shower at night. I'm pretty sure that elementary kids are not that concerned with what their own parents are wearing, either. Its like saying if the parent isn't properly dressed they cant bring there child to school. because the parents are so worked up about dress-codes, their probably missing out on the things that are really important, like their childs progress. I also think that parents are introducing their children to shallow principles. It may not be too clear, but they're teaching children to judge by ones appearance. A person can be the most respectable person, but if they arent dressed well, they're looked at differently. Put the children first. Pjs are innocent to children. adults are too corrupted.

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  • November 1, 2010 by germanny

    who do the have to were the unform what if the that want to were there unform.

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• March 29, 2010 by Desiree Parker

  Im a parent and I am very disappointed in other parents that are participating and allowing their child to go outside their home in Sleep Wear...Sleep Wear is anything basically that you sleep in...As to slippers, that were made for the wearing of inside your home...Morals and standars has become a joke to others...How are you to teach your child when you are not clearly responsible yourself? Parents are using the excuse that I am allowing my child to express themselves! thru what they wear...My responsibility is to pray for those who are lost...And clearly 1,000's of parents are lost...And the kids have to carry that burden of the parents of lack of teachings...I remember back in the day the old saying was "It takes a whole village to raise a child"....Now, I say "It takes a whole city"....

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• April 2, 2010 by Howard Harbottle-Moreno

  I don't believe PJ's should be worn in public. For me it signals a total lack of respect for ones self and for others after all, who really cares what you wear to bed. It also says to me LAZY and lack of pride in ones appearance. Don't get me wrong, PJ's have their place but I believe that place is in the bedroom or at the very least inside ones private home.

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• April 3, 2010 by Dawn Figueroa

  I think it is okay for a person to wear PJ's in public, especially if they are not revealing anything indecent. I think wearing low rider pants that show butt cracks, and the low cut blouses that hang almost everything out is much worse that a pair of PJ's with funny prints on them. We have enough problems in the world without causing undue stresses for parents. If a person feels more comfortable in a PJ as long as it isn't revealing everything let them relax. Heck I would rather see them in a pair of PJ's that heavy metal black biker gear, and gang wear, and butt cracks, and some of the other wear we see. Life is too crazy, give them a break....

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• April 3, 2010 by Sandy DeWitt

  About 30 years ago, my niece was in the habit of getting her child ready for school and driving him there while still dressed in robe and slippers. He was only in second grade; she thought it didn't matter to him what she wore; and she didn't get out of the car. One day he told her, "Mother, you can't drive me to school looking like that -- you need to look better." Children do notice what their parents look like; whether they are sloppy, tidy, clean or dirty. Whether anyone else could see his mother, this child was clearly embarrassed by the way she presented herself. This boy is now grown up and doesn't care if his wife wears pajamas all day -- she works at home. But, I wonder, how would their little one feel if mommy took her to school or anywhere else public dressed in pajamas?

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  • April 11, 2010 by Artemis S

    ask your child. If s/he says yes, mom, you embarass me, and I've been too afraid to say so, then we know there's a problem, because your child has been afraid to tell you how s/he feels. I bet your neice took more care in her appearance once her son said something to her, and I am pleased she was raising a child who was not afraid to speak his mind and emotions to his parents. I am pleased at your example of parents in pjs being good parents after-all !

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• April 4, 2010 by Rob Tate

  In the U.S., I think our time would be better spent bringing an outdated educational system up to par than worrying about what parents are wearing when they drive up in their cars to drop the kids off. In case anyone didn't notice, we are no longer living in the industrial age where the mass production of education is appropriate. If getting out of the pajamas provides the impetus for getting parents to demand better educational outcomes, then by all means focus your attention there.

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• April 9, 2010 by Austin D Carey

  Let’s address this Ideal / Situation for what it really is, this is not about Pajamas at all, there is an underlying pre-disposition towards a persons ideals that are being tested here. This question was designed to bring out your position and your judgmental awareness of a topic that has been hard drilled into your brains since you were a child. The real question here is "should parents be dressing in-appropriately in public (specifically at an educational environment with impressionable minds present.)?" My answer to this is No, a parent should not Dress inappropriately in public as for several reasons. It demoralizes the situation from that of the standards being implicated by the school in regards that it is taking away the "authority" being placed in dress codes by the educational foundation. How ever if the person is not breaking the Law then there is no need for major concern. You will simply need to re-enforce the child's morals to align with your own if you do not agree with what the other person believes is moral. Dressing in-appropriately is also a pre-disposition governed by the morals of nudity in public. While there is nothing wrong with nudity in my beliefs, Society as a whole believes otherwise and does not have any common grounds on those beliefs except that direct sexual implication is wrong. so with that said you by telling your child that it is wrong to wear these things and explaining why (in your opinion) are now introducing the ideology that brings about the basis for the very morals you try to steer them away from simply because you cannot have an understanding of good unless you understand that the opposite is bad. You need to instill the core values that govern decisions into your child rather than harp on others for not doing things the way you would if you were them. If you can instill the values you want your child to hold and believe in, than their decisions will reflect those values undoubtedly. They will also have similar opinions of certain things as you because opinions are governed by values. Please try to read deeply into what you are actually answering. Some of you have answered the question directly but not for what it is actually asking. Honestly Pajamas are simple articles of clothing that you choose to sleep in get over it.

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• April 9, 2010 by D. C. Stein

  I second the larger issue of fighting for and demanding quality education in the US. As a teacher myself, I am disgusted at what has come to pass for education in this country. It is a train derailed and still rolling through the trees and fields of our collective future workforce. That said, if I have to weigh in on the issue of parents in pijamas, I'm for pijamas over much of what I see parents wearing these days. If you want to teach your kids respect, hygiene, etc., pijamas are not the place to start when it comes to fashion. Clothing that has messages disrespectful to women, such as all-too-many graphic tees, and women who walk into school as if they were going to a club are a better place to start. We need to teach children as well as parents, that dressing for success is more than just a pant/suit and tie. It is about dressing in a way that reflects the socioeconomic status you aspire to. As long as clothing marks class status and in turn affords us apropos treatment, we might as well teach our children to dress according to the treatment they wish to receive.

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• April 10, 2010 by Nyomi Reandeau

  This is why we live in a free country!Freedom of speech.I believe ones opinion should be kept to themselves.Its like religion and polotics nobody will ever agree,but as far as the P.J.s to school come on look at the flyers for all the clothing stores,most of which have men and women in their bras and underwear and their showing off alot more than a parent dropping a child off at school in a pair of long johns or boxers.LOLAnd what about thong bathing suits?Are you people going to keep your children in the dark so that as they get older they dont know the diffrence between a condom and a ballon?Ignerant!This is not the 50's

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• April 11, 2010 by Artemia S

  I think this comes down to what sort of person you are, and the sort of person you want your child to grow up to be. If you value the "freedom to choose" or perhaps the "understanding of occasions", then maybe you don't see an issue with the lapse in teaching your child about proper dress. If you value the "responsibility of proper dress" or perhaps the "control and ease of everything in it's place", then perhaps you see the issue in not teaching our children the importance of getting out of your jammies. I do hope that none of us want to teach our kids over-reaction, persercution, or refusal to abide by governing rules. So the school made a rule I don't like - I would use it as a way of showing my child that while there are rules I dont like, I still have to follow them, else the consequences of not being able to go to get him at school. On the flip side; I think it is uncomely and innapropriate the way some other parents are appearing - here is a lesson in differences for my child, a chance to say They choose to do that, and We choose to do this, instead. Here are the reasons why we do this, or reasons why we do not do that. Now, this is concering the way we dress. I am not saying if the school suddenly decided the rich kids and the not-rich kids had to eat in different rooms, I would be teaching my child about the importance of standing up your rights and the rights of others, fairness and equality in public schools, and that everybody can make change for the better. Not that rich kids getting special favors is an issue of mine, but the point being sometimes there are things worth fighting for, and sometimes we are only teaching our children to be closed-minded and petty. What do you decide to teach?

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• April 20, 2010 by Laura

  Land of the Free.....(to wear what ever I want when I drop off my children) and it should stay that way! most of my quote on quote "PJs" are sweat pants and T-shirts,things that people wear to do everyday things,and I'm sure that many of you sleep in the same sort of things,I am a mother of two and a step-mother of three and my husband and I have full custody of all 5 , I am a stay at home mom and my husband works full-time, I have three children to get up and ready for school , a two year old and an 8 month old to care for , and after getting the older ones up,bathed,and dressed, I also have to make them breakfast and while they eat I have the younger ones to get bathed and dresssed, now keep in mind this all has to be done before 8:30 am , when I'm all said and done I don't have the time nor the help to be able to get a shower and get all dressed up to go for a 20 minute van ride to school and then back to make breakfast for my youngest two. and then it's house work,grocery shopping,nap time,lunch and lots of playing.I am a very devoted mother and it really bothers me that people are saying I am irresponsible, sloppy, and an embarresment to my children just because I dont get dressed up to drop my children off at school, but then again I don't really care what people think of me I know that my kids think I am beautiful no matter what I wear and I know they appreciate me for using the time I do have to make sure they are properly taken care of , and dressed well for school, cuz it is hard work taking care of kids all day on your own and I applaud all of us mothers out there like me that worry more about our children and the fact that they are getting to school and getting an education then what I wear to take them there.

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  • August 9, 2010 by kaitlyn

    OK THE SITUATION IS PJS R JUST COLORFUL CLOTHES THE SAME AS WAT U WERE REGUARLY!!! LET KIDS BE KIDS.. AND LETS FACE IT- KIDS JUST WEAR THIS STUFF TO SHOW OFF TO OTHER KIDS-- ESPECIALY IF THEY R IN 5-12 GRADE. these days school is about more then education its about drama, friends, groups, showing off, and gossip. usualy if children dont get these things they go mad! all kids are the same way

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