The Responsibility Project^®. Exploring what it means to do the right thing

Holiday Shopping: When Less is More

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November 26, 2008 by Kathy McManus

Thanksgiving marks the start of the traditional holiday gift-buying season. 

Some say it’s madness. 

Some say it’s fondness—for friends, families, co-workers, baby sitters, mail carriers, teachers, hairdressers, newspaper delivery people and everyone else we want—or feel compelled—to remember with a present. 

And some say it’s time to rethink a more responsible approach to holiday giving, especially in this year’s brutal economy. 

Newspaper columnist Ron Lieber thought he had the solution--"a grand alternative that would allow everyone to start the next year with at least one great present and a sense of spiritual uplift"—but he was surprised at just how reluctant we are to change our gift-giving patterns. 

Lieber based his extreme makeover on the alternative gift-giving model of ECHOage.com, a web company started last year by two mothers trying to "stop the madness around children’s birthday parties." 

Gift-givers send the amount of money they would have spent on a birthday present to ECHOage. The company takes a service fee and then splits the rest of the money—one half goes to a charity chosen by the birthday child; the other half goes to the child, who can buy something he or she really wants. 

But when Lieber suggested using the same model for the holidays, the discussion of giving was met with many a misgiving. There were outright objections from people unwilling to change the way they’ve exchanged gifts for decades. Others chafed at the imposition of a blanket plan, and some at the "relentless practicality" of the approach. 

The trick, Lieber concluded, "is to ask carefully, so as not to make others feel greedy if they still want a big pile of gifts." But there was one particular idea that repeatedly stood out for him: "I was touched by the number of people who suggested extending the Thanksgiving spirit through the end of the holiday season this year. Their recommended gift? A thank-you note." 

Tell us what you think: What’s your idea of responsible holiday gift giving?

6 Comments

What do you think? Leave a comment

• November 28, 2008 by Deborah R Herr

  Most of my friends and business clients really don't need the material gifts I would find for them. For several years I have been giving to organizations such as The Heifer Project, The Nature Conservancy, and Doctors Without Borders in their names. It's made me, the giver, as well as the giftees feel much better.

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• November 29, 2008 by macintoast

  Make your cards, gifts, etc. for people. It is more memorable, more personal, and takes a lot more thought. It also exposes others to the idea that the monetary worth of something is not the only measure of value. Or, how about giving a voucher to spend some time with the celebrated to teach them something or take them somewhere educational?

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• December 1, 2008 by Mary A

  I hate Christmas and I love Christmas. I hate it because I feel pressured to give gifts to whomever so that they know I value them (???) The more gifts I give them or the more expensive the gift the more I value them (again ????) I am very sorry that we (society) have allowed this notion to become the norm. I love Christmas because it reminds me of the innocents and excitement for life I had as a child. I looked forward to decorations that only came out once a year. The memory of being allowed to stay up late to watch Rudolf or Frosty (once a year), the smells in the kitchen, family and friends coming by to share a meal, go sledding, ice skating etc… The gifts? I really don’t remember but one or two over the years I spent living in our family home. It is not because they weren’t “good” gifts it is because they were just “things” that I “thought” I wanted at the time. Somewhere along the line we (society) tried to somehow capture the “intangible magic” of the holiday season with material objects, leaving our children with the idea that if they did not get an abundance of gifts at Christmas, that they were not valued, loved or deserving as someone else who got more. So here is my rule about gift giving – if I don’t know you well enough to already know “what you would really like but wouldn’t or can’t buy or do for yourself” then my gift to you and to me is time spent together.

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• December 1, 2008 by ElizabethMai

  A real gift requires nothing in return. I realise this is not responsible, but it reminds me of a poem - There once was a man - people thought him mad - the more he gave - the more he had. If you would like to see what this looks like in real life check out theGiftRevolution.com

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• January 7, 2009 by

  I enjoy the holidays more because I decided the best "gift" is time. I plan dinners with friends (at home), theater, movies, manicures, etc. For the kids, I still do money but I know that my friends and family enjoy experiences more at this point vs. anything else. One thing I am still dedicated to and that is to give gifts to all the people that make my life better (professionally).

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• March 17, 2009 by Umendra Singh

  Shopping is an activity of selection and/or purchase. A shopping center enclosed within a large structure. Shopping time is anytime; when the stores are closed, go online. Watch TV go on your cell phone and look at magazines. A wallet is a small software program used for online purchase transactions.

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