The Responsibility Project^®. Exploring what it means to do the right thing

Discuss: The Apology Act

55 Comments

December 11, 2008 by Kathy McManus

Consider the apology.

Is saying "I'm sorry" out of fashion?

A lost art?

A species so endangered we need a law to protect it?

Consider "The Apology Act,” a piece of legislation up for debate in Canada and aimed at allowing people to say “I’m sorry” without assuming legal responsibility for their actions.

In other words, saying you’re sorry can’t be used against you later as evidence in civil court. “The goal of the legislation is to encourage sincere apologies,” said the Ontario Attorney General. “Saying sorry for a mistake or wrongdoing is the right thing to do.”

Proponents of the law say the ability to make an apology without legal consequences will help ease hard feelings, resolve disputes, and reduce the number of lengthy, costly lawsuits.

The Apology Act is partly based on the actions of more than 30 states across the U.S. where apology laws have been enacted specifically to make it easier for doctors to say “I’m sorry” instead of “See you in court.” Under those laws, an apology for a medical mistake is inadmissible in court.

Research has found that medical apologies can actually help patients heal and doctors avoid malpractice lawsuits. Both the University of Michigan Health System and the University of Illinois have seen significant drops in malpractice filings since adopting a policy of disclosing medical errors and offering apologies and fair compensation.

Meanwhile, in the greater apology-challenged world, writer Henry Alford has embarked on a policy he calls “reverse etiquette”--supplying a tongue-in-cheek apology when none is forthcoming from an irresponsible offender. After a grocery store clerk dropped Mr. Alford’s apple on the ground, then put it in his bag with nary a word of contrition, Mr. Alford helpfully suggested, “Sorry about that—I really didn’t mean for you to drop that.” The clerk stared, uncomprehending.

“I like to think,” Mr. Alford writes, “that in some instances my behavior, by causing others to wonder what I’m going on about, may help to carry out etiquette’s mandate: to promote empathy.”

Tell us what you think: Do we really need a law in order to take responsibility and apologize? If to err is human and to forgive is divine, why is apologizing so difficult?

55 Comments

What do you think? Leave a comment

• December 26, 2008 by

  I've come to the conclusion that since people can't come to the terms that they are responsible for their own actions; they simply can't comprehend that they should be sorry when they do mess up. I find so many people (and children, I'm not sure if this is learned behavior or instinct) simply can't see that they have done something wrong and MUST lay the blame elsewhere. Why are we a fat country? McDonalds* made us that way. Why are we broke? It was the Chinese*. Never is it something we have done to ourselves. * I do NOT hold either party responsible, nor have I anything against either party, they simply get the shaft on everything these days and so make the best examples.

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• January 5, 2009 by

  Saying 'sorry' for negligible actions, as impunity, is asinine. Apologizing, sometimes, isn't good enough. Sure, it might give a person a warm, fuzzy feeling, but that doesn't address the issue of accountability, which underscores consequences of actions. There has to be a reasonable expectation that if a person commits a crime, there will be justifiable punishment. I find it hard to believe that this proposal put forth by Canada would indemnify a person from any wrong-doing, simply by saying 'I'm sorry.'

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• January 15, 2009 by

  I think that when a person says sorry, they’re saying it because they feel that they need to say it. But sometimes, they often can be just saying they are sorry to a person in order to make them feel better inside about themselves or just so they don’t have to be worried about anything. Sometimes they may be scared of somebody, trust me I know because I’ve been there in life, and I still am at times. But it’s just a way of life because if someone knows that they need to say they are sorry, then that shows me that they are being the bigger person and being very responsible in doing what they have to do without any problems. I’m proud of you whoever you may be.

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• January 16, 2009 by

  I am glad we have laws in the United States.

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• January 18, 2009 by

  I'm not sure how this law would actually work. Would passing a law that in essence makes it OK to say you're sorry (without legal ramifications)actually make people more inclined to say sorry? I think not. It certainly wouldn't make them actually FEEL sorry. I must also point out that if the Doc amputates the wrong leg, saying sorry just won't cut it for me. (no pun intended)

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• January 20, 2009 by

  Good grief, why don't we just clean up our court system so that all the stupid lawsuits that clog the system get thrown out on their tail end?! That is the real solution!! The whole reason people can't say "I'm sorry" is because of the stupid lawsuits! Instead of ADDING another law to our already overpopulated books of statutes, let's just regain some common sense in our judicial system. PLEASE AMERICA - START TO THINK!!!!!!!!!

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• January 23, 2009 by

  "I find it hard to believe that this proposal put forth by Canada would indemnify a person from any wrong-doing, simply by saying ‘I’m sorry.’" You misunderstand the legislation. What happens *now*, quite often, is that if somebody says "I'm sorry" and then you sue them, you can go into court and use the fact that they apologized as proof that they were in the wrong. This law doesn't make it so they can't be sued for screwing up, it just says that an apology can't be used as evidence. If they really did screw up, there should be plenty of other evidence you can use. This is a good thing. A lot of lawsuits happen because two people can't just sit down and talk. Your doctor messes up, and rather than him just saying "I'm sorry, let's try to fix this", the (existing) law stops him because you can take that statement and use it against him. I look at this as a small but positive step toward desperately needed tort reform.

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  • July 15, 2009 by Audrey Alasia

    It seems people think that all any one has to do for whatever damage they have done is to say they are sorry. It’s says the law will not hold saying I am sorry against them in court. Or give the other person a reason to bring them to court. I think this is a great beginning for something that should have been learned at home. Learning to forgive is something that will start when someone says they are sorry. Not many studies have been done on how forgiving is very beneficial to many people, mostly to their state of health. I feel this is a great beginning for all people involved. Yes it does take a big person to say I am sorry, but a better person to forgive and forget. When you talk the talk you must walk the walk. Thanks to all who are parts of this positive way of making laws like this one to be. Please forgive me for any misspelled words or grammar. Being disabled with spinal cord diseases makes it difficult to type and sit even this long. God bless.

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• January 24, 2009 by

  If words or actions has hurt some one physically or mentally, yes and more if saying "I'm sorry isn't enough. If it's more then that, it should be settled in a court of law .

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• January 25, 2009 by

  I think saying sorry should be something that is promoted and encouraged in everyday activities.

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  • February 23, 2009 by george

    I think that to everyone should say sorry once in a lifetime to their self before saying sorry to anyone else.

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• January 26, 2009 by

  I think saying I'm sorry is pretty easy unless the person is really mean spirited, then I don't know what would do. Even though I still know that it is okay to say sorry to anyone, it is very big to say I'm sorry because to me that's a pretty big word.

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• January 26, 2009 by

  But what if someone is too young to go to court? What age is accountable? Do you still have to go if you 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, or 12?

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• February 7, 2009 by Desiree

  What if you were upset with someone first for being inconsiderate but then they acted defensivley and blew up at you? Who says sorry?

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Tell us what you think.