The Responsibility Project^®. Exploring what it means to do the right thing

Avoidance Made Easy

16 Comments

October 7, 2008 by Kathy McManus

Can we talk? 

Not if you’re using Slydial.

As its name suggests, Slydial subverts the process of calling someone on their cell phone by routing the caller directly to the recipient’s voicemail. The service bypasses the usual ringing that alerts an incoming call, and thereby negates the chance—or risk--of having a conversation. A new message appears, but only after the fact. 

Slydial describes the feat as “the illusion of communication without the hassle of engaging in a time-consuming conversation.” The company’s suggested uses for the service include these for college students: “breaking up with a significant other…juggling a hectic dating life…or calling home for cash.” 

While there are other uses for Slydial—it’s good for shy people, someone pointed out, and for legitimately not interrupting the recipient—many question whether a tool that encourages users to avoid direct communication is a responsible use of technology. 

“Talk, that most valuable human asset, is shunned,” explained a communications professor. “If these are the technology’s primary uses, it brings with it a world where conversation and community take a back seat to one’s immediate wants—a world where ‘me’ trumps ‘we.’” 

A 26-year-old woman who used Slydial to break up with a man she’d been dating explained, “Text messaging someone ‘I would prefer not to see you again’ is really not my style. But at the same time, I wanted to avoid an awkward conversation.”

 Some say a new trend has emerged: We are constantly just missing one another—on purpose, and are more interested in “broadcasting” information than in true conversational give-and-take. 

“When I was growing up,” lamented one critic, “when the phone rang in the house, it was a big deal. You would have to get up to go answer the phone. And then you would have to stand next to the phone, because the phone was attached to the wall. You didn’t know who it was before you answered it. That was the exciting part. Who was calling? Will it be for me? Will it be a boy? Will it be Grandma calling long distance? 

“Now the phone rings and you think, ‘Shoot, more talking. I’ve had enough talking. Can’t they just email?’” 

Tell us what you think: Is it irresponsible to make a technological end-run around someone to avoid a difficult conversation? Where does our responsibility to talk to someone begin and end? Are we becoming a society more interested in “me” than “we”?

16 Comments

What do you think? Leave a comment

• October 7, 2008 by Joseph Lopez

  I fail to see what is wrong with this? In fact, this feature has been in my cell phone for the past 2 years. I can call my voice-mail and have it "send a voicemail" to the other person. No messy conversation required, just a few spoken words between me and the machine. When I was growing up, we would get up to answer the phone too. We'd also let it ring and have the answering machine handle it if we were busy. Does that automatically mean that in our wish to have a quiet uninterrupted dinner... that we were contributing to the degrading state of humanity's social interactions? And besides, do you really want to talk to someone who breaks up with their partner over the phone anyway?

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• October 7, 2008 by Mara

  “...breaking up with a significant other…” If someone broke up with me this way, I would be beyond hurt. That is a total disrespect for the other person and the relationship. Unless the person you are dating is abusive and would do anything to hunt you down if you broke up with them, then okay. It's a good thing to use. But if you have been dating for weeks to years, then no. Be an adult, suck it up, and make the phone call. Honestly, I think unless you are in a long distance relationship, then you should break up with them in person. "...or calling home for cash." That's mean and disrespectful. "Hey mom and dad, I don't want to talk to you but I do want cash from you." Wow...that's a warm message to save and be played for the holidays! What is wrong with our society? When I have children, they better have a conversation - if nothing else - with me if they want cash from me. I don't think that is too much to ask. The people who raised you and is still giving you money deserves to talk to you and know how you are doing.

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• October 7, 2008 by Stephen R

  Like any tool, this can be used responsibly or irresponsibly. The article directly points out legitimate uses for it. As with any tool, it can be abused. Using this to break up with someone without wanting to actually talk to them sounds to me like the depth of cowardice. Personally, talking on the phone so much is not like the past when people dealt with each other directly. I far prefer to talk to someone directly than to talk on the phone. So for me, the telephone itself is great if I want to talk to my friend in France, but not something I want to use for a long conversation with someone I could get to in five minutes' travel.

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• October 7, 2008 by Rima Patel

  With slydial, we’re certainly not promoting anything brand new when it comes to the societal changes around how we choose to communicate—that’s already a reality in today’s technology-driven world. At MobileSphere, we haven’t started this trend, nor do we promote any kind of breakdown of two-way communication; we’re simply giving people new and different means to communicate. Think of it this way: have you ever deliberately sent a call to voicemail? We’re doing the reverse of that. slydial offers the consumer the ability to choose when and where to talk when they’re placing a call – just as they can already when they’re on the receiving end. slydial evens the playing field and allows for choice on either end of the line. If you’re interested, please check out our “user-generated blog”:http://slydial.com/blog.php where slydial users have been talking about lots of ways to use the service, from the sly to the practical to the thoughtful.

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• October 8, 2008 by Samuel

  I am completely fine with this; I would love to subscribe to this service. Then again, I've never been the most social, caring, or empathetic person, so I'm sure someone who actually cares about people disagrees.

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• October 8, 2008 by Wacky Hermit

  Seriously, when answering machines came out, did you question their responsibility too? And I bet when ATMs came out you were one of those who believed they were evil because they removed the face-to-face transaction with a bank teller.
  Can we please reserve questioning the morality of innovations for things that actually have moral consequences, like reproductive technologies?

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• October 8, 2008 by Saritha Clements

  I have a cell phone but do not have or want to have slydial. To break up with someone without talking to them in person or live on the phone is rude, wrong and unacceptable. Cowardly. Period.

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• October 10, 2008 by Taryn

  I'd actually love to get this feature on my phone, I'm very shy, with a very bad lisp, so even talking to people face to face is hard for me. This would make things a lot easier.

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• October 11, 2008 by Kristi Jacobsen

  There are those who say e-mail removes personal communication and separates people. In my family, it serves to keep us in constant communication so that when we're together for the holidays we can just enjoy one another without having to catch up. Every technology has the potential for abuse-it's all in how you use it.

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• October 15, 2008 by Jenn

  After going through a bitter divorce and still having to communicate with my ex relative to our child; this feature would be a god sent!! Every time I call, he wants to argue, or call me names or just be a jerk...how wonderful would it be to say what I have to say in a voicemail and never have to speak directly to him...ahhhh HEAVEN! The voicemail break up is a little tacky...but to each his own I always say!!!

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• October 30, 2008 by celeste

  Come on, its a variation on basic voicemail. Those saying breaking up using this have obviously not ever heard of a dear john letter? How impersonal is a break-up letter? This can be a good or bad thing. I can see both good and bad. At any rate, I think its up to the user as to how they use this service.

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• April 17, 2009 by m virts

  What about Slydial? Every single phone already has this feature built in -- just dial # when you hear ringing and it puts you through to voicemail (at least Verizon works this way). Slydial is selling (in a way) a re-labeled service that is free. They get money from advertisers for a service already provided by the phone company (I haven't really done my research; I’m assuming that Slydial is a separate entity). This encourages the addition of advertisement based revenue generation on top of the existing telephone system more money for the company, which is good right now phones are like television without commercials, users pay a fee which supports the companies who supply the service. The Slydial approach is inserting a commercial before each use of a specific service. Maybe expanding this to include other services would be a good thing for people who wouldn't mind a few ads in exchange for a reduced phone bill. On the other hand others may see an increase in their bill if they want to keep their telephone use ad-free. Anyway, I was just thinking about that.

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Tell us what you think.