The Responsibility Project^®. Exploring what it means to do the right thing

A Baby Walks Into a Bar…

191 Comments

April 1, 2008 by Kathy McManus

So this baby walks into a bar, and …

Well, the baby didn’t actually walk into the bar--it was in a stroller, pushed by its mother, who was going to have a drink or two with some other moms who brought their kids, and…that’s why this is no joke.

There’s a bar fight brewing across the country. In Seattle, Austin, Philadelphia, Boston and beyond, bar patrons are getting lathered up on both sides of a polarizing parenting issue: is it responsible (or even acceptable) to belly up to the bar with young children in tow?

Those opposed to the mix of cocktails and sippy cups have posted their unequivocal sentiments on numerous online message boards and blogs, like this one in Philadelphia: “I do not want to be in a bar around children. Ever. Bars are for adults.”

Stroller grid-lock has been increasing in bars--often under signs that say “No One Under 21 Admitted”--along with the irritation of patrons who object to shoving crayons out of the way of their cosmos.

Those pushing for more kids in more bars are usually the same people pushing the strollers: mothers of the pre-school set, who say: “We want to do everything we always did, but with our babies.”

So when the owner of a bar in Brooklyn recently posted a “Please No Strollers” sign, he opened yet the latest front in the battle of the bottle. Moms seethed, while critics-- like this one in Tucson --applauded: “Grow up, people,” she wrote. “Your lives are different now.”

Tell us what you think: Are we lowering the responsibility bar by allowing kids in the neighborhood bar?

191 Comments

What do you think? Leave a comment

• April 1, 2008 by Mary Duval

  These moms are crying they want to still be able to do things they did before they became moms???? Well someone tell them means protecting your child and taking them into a bar is just irresponsible. Hats off to the bar owner who posted the sign no strollers allowed inside but I can see these moms toting their kids in by the hip...better question is how are these moms and tots getting home? Are they driving? Walking? I can see a little one saying "mommy I want to go to the bar and watch those pool games instead of watching Barney" (laugh)

  Reply

• April 1, 2008 by JS

  You have a child - not a puppy. Your life is forever different and some of the things you used to do - you cannot/must not do now. Be responsible - be an adult - use judgment. A bar is no place for a child.

  Reply

• April 2, 2008 by terrance tattrie

  These alleged "moms" who want to take a child into a bar need to be jailed! The minute you have a baby you become second in line. YOUR BABY COMES FIRST!! As horrible as it sounds, I think some people need to be sterilized! My mother was and still is a great example of a kind,l oving mother who sacrificed here own wants and needs for me and my siblings like any GOOD MOTHER would.

  Reply

• April 3, 2008 by Lady MJ

  I am a mother and the the thought of bringing my son into a bar would never cross my mind...Is this what parents are doing now? I think that is absolutely insanse. The parents that do that should be punished in someway. If they wanted to go to the bar hire a babysitter then go, do not bring your kids with you.

  Reply

• April 3, 2008 by NIkKi G

  I am a mom I would NEVER think about taking my 5yr old into a bar to have a drink with some girlfriends. I agree with Terrance T. What kind of example are they setting for their children, they should be jailed. That's a cool story for the kid to tell when their sitting in a cell @ the age of 13, yea my mom used to take me to bars when I was 4. This annoys ME, these moms need to wake up & realize it is not right. ALL bar owners should ban strollers & kick out a parent who does have a child with them.

  Reply

• April 3, 2008 by Karen

  I am not entirely comfortable with Mother's or Father's bringing their children of any age into a bar. However there is a greater issue at hand here. And that is how are parents supposed to get there needs for socialization met if we ban them from it. I praise the people who are will to stand up for their needs and get together with their friends in public. It is time that we as a nation accept children and parenting as natural and not to be left at home. Depression in mothers is a huge issue so if they were able to take their children and go have a normal "adult" experience with out the judgment and the condemnation there would probably be a lot less depression. Why is it that once you become a parent all of a sudden what was normal is now not ok and everything must revolve around the children? We as a nation need to stop oppressing, judging every situation for what was past generations morals.

  Reply

  • April 4, 2008 by Donna

    I'm a little stunned at the concept that taking a child to a bar would help stem depression in mothers. Oh, please.

    Reply

  • April 4, 2008 by KLG

    Parents shouldn't be having "adult experiences" with their children. If they wish to socialize with kids in tow, they should go somewhere kid-friendly, where the kids can socialize with other kids in a safe, stimulating environment while the moms and dads mingle. A bar is not such a place. If mom and dad want to go to a bar, hire a babysitter. As for bar owners, if the law does not allow kids under 21 to enter the establishment, call the cops. Even if no laws are being broken, owners have the right to refuse service and can take a stand by not serving parents with young children. Let them call foul all they want--everyone knows that bars are no place for kids!

    Reply

  • April 4, 2008 by Lani

    ...and other misnomers. It's interesting to me that the words "normal adult experience" were used. There are many "normal adult experiences" that are inappropriate for children. Hence the words, "adult experience". If a mother is depressed because of the grief she's getting from taking baby into a bar so she can have her "adult experience", I'd say that mother has several more pressing reasons to be depressed.

    Reply

  • October 1, 2010 by Tangerine

    Wow, what is it that you do in bars that is so terrible that a child can't see? Or is it that you feel bad about your drinking so for a child to see it you feel guilty? Bars are part of life people. Grow up! I think that if a parent is getting trashed that's one thing - not just bad for the child but also bad herself. But out having a leisurely drink with friends is harmless and even shows the child how to be social and have fun. Hopefully these parents are responsible and cabbing it or just having one at least an hour before driving - but that goes for anyone.

    Perhaps some people think that when you have children you have to stop drinking and become a saint. I can see why they have issue here. Others just don't feel comfortable drinking around children because they don't really feel comfortable drinking - something in them says it's wrong and they do not want children to see them.

    Anyway it should be up to the bar. Parents shouldn't want to go where they are not welcome-- what fun is that?

    Just some thoughts...

    Reply

• April 3, 2008 by Mary Duval

  I am surprised these irresponsible mothers are not being charged criminally for some type of crime. What are they teaching their children? And where are the babies fathers? Can the bar workers not refuse service to them?

  Reply

  • September 7, 2011 by Ann

    Where do you thing the baby'd daddy's are? Not with them. Thats why they go there. Next year they'll have another one.

    Reply

• April 3, 2008 by Mary Duval

  I do not think these moms should be bringing these children to the bar as many of you think. Why not hire a sitter? I have to wonder how old these moms range in...

  Reply

  • April 5, 2008 by Maria Forzani

    That's not a fair speculation...I'm a young mom (22) and I would never even consider taking my child into a bar! And I have seen plenty of older mom's who could use a few lessons on responsible parenting.

    Reply

• April 3, 2008 by Rosa

  I am a bartender at a bar that is both a restaurant and a less respectable place at night. Parents (mothers and fathers) frequently come in with their babies after a long stroll through the park and have a beer. If the baby gets unruly they leave. I see no problem with this. It is certainly one thing if the parents are getting drunk or if the children are being neglected, but I think a parent enjoying the day with her child should also be able to have a glass of wine! The puritanical attitude in this country draws black and white lines everywhere that there shouldn't be. I don't think anyone in France, or Spain, or Ireland, or even Canada looks down their nose at a mother having a glass of wine at a bar with a baby's stroller at her feet! If we want to be responsible parents we have to be reasonable parents first!

  Reply

• April 3, 2008 by NIkKi G

  There are many places u can go such as Fridays, Chili's, AppleBees, any bar n grill. Not a damn BAR. Why would any parent have any alcohol to drink when they're driving with their children. If they want a night out they should get a babysitter.

  Reply

• April 4, 2008 by Chrissy Reed

  Bars are for adults ONLY. Period. Nothing else to say.

  Reply

• April 4, 2008 by Gina Buckley

  Let's just hope that NONE of these moms are drinking and driving, at all not even one drink and especially not with kids in tow. And as far as wanting to do everything they did before becoming parents with their babies...that is just not acceptable. Some things are not meant to be done with your kids. Seriously, get a sitter or get over it. This is, however, assuming that the bars we're talking about are BARS, not restaurants with bars in them. and in that case babies STILL should NOT be AT the bar. I am a very young mom of two kids and while most people my age live at bars and clubs I would never even think about compromising the safety of my child by taking them to a place full of drinking adults. It's absurd to think any parent feels like taking a child to a bar is appropriate.

  Reply

Tell us what you think.